Just got a piece of mail from a local dentist, inviting me to try his new services. It says he has been here for the past 30 years and then goes on to list all of the benefits I can take advantage of:
hey Dr, can you pop this Phish DVD in and come back in 3 hours?
Not sure I need a new dentist, but sounds like a fun place to go unwind on a Thursday night.
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I’m trying to fool myself into thinking I’m not going to eat this entire donut.
If you only eat it piece by piece it won’t make your butt as fat
These classic chocolate covered Entenmann’s donuts ended up in the office after I sent W out for a sweet. The corner bodega had a fairly limited sweet selection… before W showed me what he ended up with, he said, “Now, you might not be ‘wowed’ by my selection, but it’s a good classic choice.” I guessed what it was on the first try.
We’re 5 3/4 donuts in (I had another bite since I took this picture) and we are not over them yet. All hail Entenmann’s.
My Facebook status is now, “Trying to find a Brooklyn coffee shop with an open table and wifi is like trying to find a boyfriend in a gay bar.” I spent 40 minutes walking around trying to find one. To add an extra whammy to my cause, my laptop battery sucks so I need an outlet. I might as well be asking for a pony.
It's amazing how quickly you hate every single smug person with their stupid f'n Apples and Netbooks out on their tables, with their large coffees and croissants, who look like they are not going anywhere for hours. I WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!
The only option was Hanco’s, the Vietnamese sandwich shop. But I think they only serve bubble tea, which although delicious, is not exactly the coffee I need. And I think there is a limit to how much Vietnamese sandwich flavors one can smell. So I came back to the home office, defeated. The dogs were excited to have me back.
It’s amazing how I wanted to leave to have new surroundings to write in. Even though it’s technically quieter at home, with no screaming kids and constant in and out of customers, every little sound bugs me. And my office assistant just dragged her ass across the carpet. Hmmm, maybe I should drag my ass across the floor at Connecticut Muffin to free up some tables…
11:18 am, on a Wednesday
“What is the scientific method anyway?,” W asked, as I proclaimed that I was going to use it to determine what method of coffee making produces the best cup. You see, we both share the coffee making responsibilities, and we both mix flavored and regular coffee in vastly different styles.
“I believe it is when you measure things, then write it down,” I responded.
Oh the possibilities! How many scoops of flavor vs. unflavored? Do you alternate flavor and non flavored scoops, or dump in all at once?
“Yes,” said W, “I do think this calls for the scientific method! I believe it calls for testing, then retesting.”
“Oh wait, I think we need to have a hypothesis somewhere in there,” I added, no doubt making Mrs. Sauro from 7th grade science proud.
So the Home Office has a new project, so wait with baited breathe as we hypothesize, test, retest and write down our findings for subjective best coffee methods.
Oh yes, Ask a question! I knew ‘writing it down’ was a step, at least
There really isn’t anything I can say to accompany the photos to this post besides, “W’s mom has never touched his childhood bedroom.” I took these shots while staying overnight during Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, that’s right, the two of us shared the twin bed. With a 50 pound dog.
Hey, the guy knew what he liked from a young age. I would ask him what country he represented in the mock senate, but I don’t want to give away this blog post.
Hey Mom, Dad… do not disturb
Can you believe I was asked to edit this image to block out the recipient’s name? haha. Whoever she is, with a mix like this I hope she put out once in Buffalo
Valedictorian plaque right next to the bed. If that doesn’t seal the deal, the Bobby Nystrom Islander card will.
And yes, I do realize that one day this room will be recreated in our rec room somewhere.
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On our first Xmas, 4 years ago, Hollie took the time to make me a personalized coupon book. To her dismay, I still have this book and found it today.
H: So what. Those coupons are expired!
W: Actually says on the first page “No expiration date”.
There are several I have yet to redeem as I have used them strategically. Some good ones left include:
– One pass to get out of walking the dog. H claimes this is only good for Dog #1 since it was given pre-puppy acquisition and the illustration only seems to depict one dark, goofy, insecure mutt.
– One Tivo slot for a Sci-Fi, Political or War based TV Show or movie. H and I have to negotiate adding new shows to our joint watching regimen. I generally have to cajole her to watch shows like 24 (fortunately she has a crush on Jack Bauer) and Lost.
That’s Loony! Judge Judy is the last show we’ve agreed upon.
– Thirty (30) Minutes of Quiet. When I first received this coupon, I immediately had the foresight to ask that I could redeem this in 5 minute increments. I still have 25 minutes left!**
I wish I thought of redeeming this during a recent fight when H hurled a 5lb bag of onions at me (although this would have resulted in either 1. breaking the tension or 2. breaking off our engagement…good story either way)
* H does not like any movie or TV show with: too much tension, complexity, gore, suspense, fantasy, possibility of a bad ending, potential for an animal to get hurt and/or anything that would result in her having too many questions or require her to keep track of too many characters. This essentially only leaves us with How I Met your Mother, Project Runway and any Hugh Grant movie. As you may imagine, going to the movies (despite the fact that we love 1/2 block from one), is not a common field trip at the Home Office
** The 5 minutes I did claim occurred shortly after I received this book, while driving an inebriated H home from a holiday party in NJ. It was snowing so hard I could only see a few feet in front of me, and there was 2 mins left in an important Giants game. SHHHHHHHHHHHH.
My favorite part of the Biggest Loser is when the trainers pull aside one of the contestants for a heartfelt one-on-one conversation, which inevitably leads to a shameless plug for a sponsor. The transition is so un-smooth, it’s glorious.
Last night’s conversation was a gem and centered around the contestant’s fear of going back into normal society.
Contestant: I am just nervous about how I am going to make time to exercise in my daily routine and how to make sure I put my health as a top priority in my day to day.
Jillian: You’ve come so far already, I am very proud of you. And…a good cereal to snack on when you are at home is Whole Grain Cheerios. They are nutritious, tasty and a great pick me up. Just remember that and you will be fine!
"C'mon! Just 3 more! And when you are done, I have some tasty apple slices that have been kept fresh by these Glad Resealable Bags.....Keep pushing!"
I was literally just thinking how great the subways have become. 15 years ago I would not be able to travel at 8 pm from Brooklyn to grand central as I am this evening, I thought to myself.
Then I look next to me and an old man has his penis out.
There’s been some problems in the workplace. I’ve undertaken a big labor intensive project in conjunction with my mom’s upcoming 65th birthday that has kept me up till 2 am and will probably do so for the next 3 days. Plus I’m being forced to take Spanish classes. And hounded to write a blog post.
I argue, “This is why it’s a joint blog, write something yourself.”
W argues, “But you’re funnier.”
Which is true, but I’m exhausted, and I have a focus group to attend in an hour. Oh, and he wants to discuss the blog format. I argue, why don’t you start writing things before worrying about format. Man, that guy has management written all over him.
Where is HR, I want to submit a formal complaint.
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— iPod
— laptop
— PA Dutch guide book, which parents just happened to have lying around of course
— list of Cleveland restaurants featured on “diners, drive thrus and dives”
— list of medical ailments to get checked out (friend we’re visiting is a dr, albeit a radiologist)
Of course we forgot the aerobed and pillows. And my makeup. Eh, it’s Cleveland.
Right about now realizing we wasted a dog sitting credit. And that we could have left tomorrow. Aren’t there 3 day deals to Jamaica? Doh!
This pic just sums up a road trip to Cleveland doesn’t it
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Don’t forget to retest! 
Live from the Home Office 
