Live from the Home Office

H just asked my advice on the format of her resume.  I  gave her my opinion and then promptly reminder her that I have been “working from the home office”  for 3 months, myself. Perhaps she should seek some other counsel on the matter.

Seems akin to my friend asking my opinion on who to start for his fantasy football team.

friend: Would you use Beanie Wells or Austin Collie this week?
me:  You do know that my team has a 1-11 record this season? Whatever I say, I suggest you do the exact opposite.

My name is George. I am bald, I am unemployed and I live with my parents

I accompanied my friend to a party in a crazy cool Brooklyn apartment.  It was stylish and immaculate. It was full of gay guys from her swim team. It was great.  My friend is only 27… it’s good to maintain younger friends, they keep you on your toes and don’t need babysitters!

This wasn’t a planned thing- we were on the subway and she said, “I said I’d stop by this party, I’m getting off here” and I said, “I’ll come with you.”  hmmm I wasn’t really invited, was I?  Today she IM’d me to recap how much fun we had and that she was planning on staying for 20 minutes, but with me we ended up staying for 3 hours.  And throughout the party, while I was chatting away about everything from my favorite dips to Argentinian polo players, she kept telling me how I’m the best person-to-bring-to a-party-ever– I’m self sufficient and chatty.  Oh, and I got shit canned (no dinner mistake) so badly that the dogs were afraid of me when I came home.

W just rolled his eyes when I told him that I was a hit, sure that I was just annoying everyone. HOWEVER, I have proof that I was a hit…

one of my new friends gave me his business card so that he could invite me to his party!

I was immediately called Kathy Griffin

W has taken to reading his new book all bundled up on the reading chair. I make fun of him for looking like an old lady, and have run with it. Comments just today include:

– how’s “chicken soup for the soul” coming along? Heart warming isn’t it

– i’ll fix you some soup for dinner (at 5 of course)

– can I get you another butterscotch, ma’am

You get it. But then I was like wait, he really is like an old lady! He is:

— obsessive about the neighbors picking up their mail (“do they not see it?? Oh, I’ll just bring it up to them”)

— already worried about the traffic to the upper east side on new years eve

— always thinks he’s sick or that a pimple is worrysome

— sensitive to temperature

— suggested we eat dinner at happy hour at brookvin… Bet 5-7

If he starts calling me dearie I’m out!

UPDATE:  he asked me if I wanted tea and babka as an afternoon snack!

“Oh, don’t worry, you talked.”
— W, in response to me complaining that I don’t think I got to talk to anyone during last night’s Festivus party

Party highlights to follow.

Just got a piece of mail from a local dentist, inviting me to try his new services. It says he has been here for the past 30 years and then goes on to list all of the benefits I can take advantage of:

hey Dr, can you pop this Phish DVD in and come back in 3 hours?

Not sure I need a new dentist, but sounds like a fun place to go unwind on a Thursday night.

There really isn’t anything I can say to accompany the photos to this post besides, “W’s mom has never touched his childhood bedroom.” I took these shots while staying overnight during Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, that’s right, the two of us shared the twin bed. With a 50 pound dog.

Hey, the guy knew what he liked from a young age. I would ask him what country he represented in the mock senate, but I don’t want to give away this blog post.

Hey Mom, Dad… do not disturb

Can you believe I was asked to edit this image to block out the recipient’s name? haha. Whoever she is, with a mix like this I hope she put out once in Buffalo

Valedictorian plaque right next to the bed. If that doesn’t seal the deal, the Bobby Nystrom Islander card will.

And yes, I do realize that one day this room will be recreated in our rec room somewhere.